fuck you, lawrence alloway.

dork around long enough on the internet, and you'll be damned if it isn't just like television. the possibilities are endless, and yet we all end up looking at the same shit.

being that mtv quit doing it's job fifteen years ago, it's up to youtube and the like to actually distribute videos. this week, half of america seems to have caught onto a video of alanis morrisette doing a painfully (but predictably) cathartic version of that ol' black eyed peas classic "my humps". played at a glacier's pace and sung in sickening earnest, alanis robs schtick that seems possibly funny to anyone the first time they see it, but increasingly less funny if you have seen it done by other, better acts. let's be honest: steve allen probably ripped it off from someone else. recontextualizing bad music does not often make bad music better, or wittier. it's just stupid.

also making the rounds this week is a video homage/cover/parody of nine inch nail's "hurt", probably made more famous via johnny cash's cover. well, this time around, it's a version as sung by kermit the frog. and yeah, it's got a pretty poor kermit imitation, plus you get to see kermit emote over an acoustic guitar, shoot up, jerk off to pictures of miss piggy, and even fellate rolf the pianist/dog. hm.

now, "my humps" is a bad song, and i think you'd be hard-pressed to find anyone to argue that. "hurt" is a pretty bad song too, but that's mostly because trent reznor is a tool, and most times i question his ability to identify a natural emotion. alanis bobs and weaves between self-righteousness and irrelevance, and kermit and his acoustic guitar? well, i suppose the lesson here anyway is pop-culture juxtopositions are increasingly tiresome. post-modernist mash-up directives feel old before they've even been created, mostly because the brain can predict the outcome without actually having to see the result. look around long enough, and everything seems interchangeable. thanks to tools that can manipulate modern media, reinterpreting is a goddamn cinch. and if it's so easy, why bother?

our boy george carlin said it, many years ago: "nail two pieces of shit together that have never been nailed together before, and some asshole will buy it".