today i didn't even have to use my AK

i always get to do what i want. it's a life of privilege, i suppose. aside from being the first born, there's also the unignorable fact that i'm white, over six feet, and sort of pretty. folks clear the lane for you when you got that going. so, generally, what i want to happen seems to when i want it to.

except this year. this holiday season, i'm going to alaska. where it's cold. to be around my girlfriend's family. this is not how i would normally choose to spend christmas.

actually, truth be told, i couldn't give a shit one way or the other about christmas, but everyone around me seems to like it, and i like almost everyone around me, so i buy into it to a degree. i couldn't care less about christians. or religious people in general. i'm not all giddy about westernized retail success either, so all of this holiday business don't impress me much. but, i do like the smell of pine trees and christmas cookies are good good stuff.

but do i want to enjoy that in a climate that (last i checked) barely climbs into the positive numbers? hells no. i'll be around a variety of girly-girl"s family members, some in better shape than others. there's also a wedding that we are attending, one of her cousin's. so, for those of you keeping score: bitter cold weather, a stranger's wedding, and awkward meta-family obligations. for as much as we'll spend on plane fare and lodging, we coulda gone to sao paulo. oh, well.

see, here's the thing, and i know i don't mention it nearly often enough. i love me girlfriend. and while the shit in alaska seems to be rising on a daily basis, she has dutifully gone and visited, nursed, coached and coddled family many many times while i stayed here in mild pacifica, enjoying the run of the house and the lifestyle of excess and drinking that can only happen when your true love leaves town. not only that, but she has worked as hard, if not harder, to endear herself to my family, she makes the coupla hour trip down to p-town regularly with me, and has done all of her girlfriendly duties that make her a shining star in the old folks eyes. and have i done the same for her family? not even a little bit. so, that considered, i knew it was time for me to make an appearance. and tomorrow, we leave to make that appearance. bluh.

i've complained about this to anyone who would listen, friends, family, strangers in bars, and most importantly and stupidly, my girly-girl herself. this will be my last long-faced look at the trip up north. from here on out (at least until our return), i'm going to get my game-on attitude together, and make it look like i'm having the best time of my life, discovering the roots and truths about the girl i love. i'll grin so hard it will look like i'm trying to break my teeth. i might just shoot a rainbow out my ass. and i'm going to try and be as nice a guy as humanly possible.

and when i get back home, kick my shoes off, and plant myself on the couch, i'm going to drink, drink, drink. and maybe, when all is said and done, i'll be able to look you right in the eye and say, "yeah, alaska... we had a great time."